Spinsterhood & Cats

Last night I went to see The Psychedelic Furs with my friend Shu. It was a festival of hot girls that made me feel so insecure. They all seemed to have perfect skin, shiny hair, hot bodies, cool outfits and wonderful husbands and boyfriends...the life! As a single chubby girl who gets and occasional zit, growing out a bad hair cut, I felt green with envy to the point where I almost wish I hadn't gone.

After the show we walked to a bar where I ran into an old friend who gave me the scoop on an acquaintance's surprise divorce. They seemed to be a perfect couple, so happy and in love. They had great careers and a cute house in a trendy neighborhood, everything you could possibly want. Turns out the answer for the breakup is quite simple: he met someone hotter.

After last night I have really learned my lesson: looks are everything! Now that I'm out of my 20's it's pretty much futile to hope to find love unless I have expensive plastic surgery and develop an eating disorder. Since those are not options at this point I have my choice of living alone as a cat lady or join a convent. At least now that I know the infinite truth about men I can have the freedom to eat whatever I want, not shave my legs and save money on make-up. You see, there are pro's to this situation. I won't have to agonize about the fidelity of my mate of suffer the heartbreak of a painful divorce either. A fair trade I guess.



These aren't exactly new theories but I was always optimistic about finding true love until last night. Now that I have resolved to stay a single woman for the rest of my life I can fill my time with hobbies and interests I never had time for. Going to play with my cats now...